“Loving yourself is the greatest revolution. Life is too short to spend it being at war with yourself”
Anon
Body positivity is a term that is frequently used in communities like ours. People talk about it, promote it and seek to develop it but what exactly is it? Are we all on the same page when we use the term, “Body Positivity,” or does it mean different things to different people?
In this article I want to explore what body positivity is. I want to look at the positives of this movement and the negatives. Indeed, are there any negatives? If there are what do we need to be aware of? Are there any pitfalls?
After my article I want to open up the discussion to you. What does body positivity mean for you? Is it a positive thing that carries you forward to a place and time of self-acceptance and love for your body? Perhaps it takes you to a place where you vacate important decisions about health and happiness? Maybe it frees you from issues of body image or perhaps it leads to an obsessive focus on your body.
No one here who has gotten to know me, would doubt that I want us all to have a wonderfully positive relationship with our bodies but I rather think that means different things to different people. I personally want us to fall as deeply in love with ourselves like I fell in love with my gorgeous Great Dane and my amazing daughters. My love for my Great Dane has changed and developed, deepened and grown stronger over the years and I can honestly say, that I am so much more in love with him now than I was on the day we married. Likewise the moment I held each of my children for the first time, I was smitten with a love so deep so true that it is surely eternal. It is this depth of love, this depth of commitment that we should have for our bodies, indeed our whole selves. My question is this; is the Body Positive Movement the way to develop that encompassing, deep and abiding love for self or is there another way? Is body positivity enough or is there more to it? I rather suspect that the answer will be like most things, complicated and many faceted and confirming that, there is no right or wrong path to finding self-love, of discovering our self-worth and acceptance of who we are.
We are a large, powerful group of strong, compassionate and loving women and here in this group we have the benefit of the collective wisdom of over ten thousand Warriors. That is pretty impressive so, at the end of this article, I invite you to share that wisdom as I will share mine. Please feel free to disagree with any of the statements here as this article is intended to explore the concept of body positivity freely and to help us work out our own way forward to a better more loving relationship with our-self.
Body Positivity is a social movement that began in the 1960s. It started as a reaction to challenge the way in which society was beginning to frame it views about the physical body. It is rooted in the belief that everyone should have a positive body image. In the U.S. the National Association to Advance fat Acceptance was established in 1969 with a focus on ending fat shaming and discrimination against people based on weight or size.
Body Positivity is basically a social justice movement which aims to normalize all body shapes and sizes. It encompasses the development of a more compassionate attitude to our own bodies. One of the criticisms of the movement stems from the notion that the body positivity movement does not actually encompass a broad enough reach. Making the ”Body Positive” movement about people of size or weight leaves out many others who are also judged and criticized for their bodies, the disabled, trans people, scarred people and yes even skinny people. I recall many phone calls from teachers insisting my skinny youngest daughter had anorexia. She is built like her father’s family. Once when out walking together with our dog, a whippet, she was taunted by a group boys, calling out insults and laughing at the skinny girl her skinny dog. I can assure you that hurt her every bit as much as when her sisters, who were quite normal sized were called fat. Does the body positivity movement leave people behind? I did not find a single article confirming that body positivity has anything other than a focus on ending the culture of fat shaming in modern society so perhaps it does.
Body image is personal to us – it is how we see ourselves. It is a fluid and changing as our very bodies. I can be affected by mood, exercise, movement, a glance in a mirror, a photograph, looks and the opinions of others including complete strangers and this is just the tip of the iceberg. It is also affected by rarely seeing out own bodies reflected in the media as anything other than the happy fat chick or the clown joking, laughing and endlessly entertaining the “normal” people. It is also affected by our tendency to hypercritically view or bodies based on society’s ideal of beauty. We often use that internalized bias to counter compliments, and put ourselves down. Why do we do this? Well it is because we have been sold a societal view of what an ideal body should be, what it should look like. Beauty is a construct of society which often impinges on one’s ability to develop strong feeling of self-worth and confidence. Slimmer bodies are seen as the desired norm and we buy into that too. This leads to a cavalcade of issues that we struggle with and these are reflected repeatedly in the posts in our group;
- Poor self-care
- Depression and/or anxiety
- Weight cycling
- Difficulty maintaining relationships
- Difficulty making proactive health decisions
- Remaining in abusive relationships
- Self-harming behaviors
- Disordered eating
- Low self esteem
- Low self-worth
- Fear of social situations and feelings of social isolation
- Feelings of self-loathing
That body positivity works to address these issues and replace them with a more positive outlook regarding our bodies is definitely a good thing. Its aim is to help us appreciate our bodies in spite of our flaws so that we are able to enjoy our bodies. It hopes to foster feelings of body confidence and acceptance of our body’s size and shape. It also aims to foster acceptance and enjoyment of the changes that occur in our bodies: puberty, pregnancy, menopause and the aging process itself.
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens”
Louise Hay
One would indeed be correct in saying the Body Positive movement fosters self-acceptance of our bodies arising from fostering a more positive self-image and indeed self-love, however let’s not fool ourselves. It cannot be denied that for many obesity is considered the number one factor associated with metabolic disorders, diabetes, hypertension, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, cardiovascular disease and infertility. On top of that we have a disease that affects our body composition, so to my mind any movement that just advocates for body acceptance without addressing our health issues including the very things listed above, co-morbidities like diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular health, no- alcoholic fatty liver, metabolic disorders and yes obesity falls somewhat short of being a positive force in our lives. Body positivity should be the basis for not only loving and accepting of our bodies but also it must be at the core of our health decisions.
Therapist Kimberly Hershensen, (and I paraphrase) points out that it is unrealistic to expect people to suddenly change their mindset and start to truly love their bodies when they have struggled with body image issues, hated their body or parts of it, for the whole of their lives. After reading that statement I did some deep thinking on just how unrealistic and even perhaps damaging that can be. Are we just putting ourselves under enormous pressure to succeed at one more almost impossible thing? Hershensen also questions the wisdom of promoting, “love yourself at any size.” Any proactive form of Body Positivity should include three aspects for it to be a truly wholesome movement. It should be rooted in self-acceptance, promote patient and loving responses to our body and be the core focus for our health decisions. It should encompass loving our bodies in such a way that we allow the whole person to be the focus of self-esteem and self- image and it should facilitate us to make positive decisions regarding our physical, emotional, psychological and sexual health.
Another researcher in the field, Jameela Jamil also calls for a less body centric way of looking at self-esteem and self-worth. She suggests that removing body image from the center of our focus of our self-image and sense of identity would allow other aspects of our being to emerge.
That creates a whole new paradigm for us to consider. Should we look to a broader definition of self when it comes to self- love and self- acceptance, after all we are not just one dimensional beings. As well as the physical self we have the emotional, social, spiritual, psychological and sexual dimensions. In other words we are not just body, we are body, mind and spirit. What would it be like if our bodies were not the center of our self-image and our sense of identity? What if we let other aspects of our person to determine our self-worth? I believe that through broadening our sense of self our very self-identity and moving it away from a body centric focus it will promote a broader and healthier focus on just who we are. It would lead to better decision regarding all aspects of our health and enable us to cope better with the emotional and psychological issues that accompany a disease like lipoedema.
For me, I am more than a just a body. I am a woman, a mother a wife a lover, a provider, a teacher, a nurse, fighter, a tigress, a goddess…… I am kind, I am loving, I am caring, I am clever, I am emotionally strong, I am healthy, I am creative. I am loving and I am loved and surely these thing add up to so much more to feel good about myself than just my body.
“You can’t hate yourself happy.
You can’t criticise yourself thin.
You can’t shame yourself worthy.
Real change begins with self-love and self- care.”
Jessica Ortega
